we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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