My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I want her autograph on my taint
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
