I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
wow bdsm is so cute
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