I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
