you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
