"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
