He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
