Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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