I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
