I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
be right there i have to get my cape
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
