he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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