forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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