I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize