Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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