i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
