Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Couch. On fire.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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