Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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