I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
A+ Viking dick
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize