I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
