My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
