does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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