Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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