then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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