I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
