Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
