I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
