when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
