I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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