i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
