i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
