need another drink. this is the easiest way
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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