she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
