Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize