i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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