I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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