I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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