I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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