hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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