remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
