so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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