I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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