I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
