I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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