Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
