i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I understand Curling. That high.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
