Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
