if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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