I am puke
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
