She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
