Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
