Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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