I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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