Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
