so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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