He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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