just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize