I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
