we have pet lesbian snakes
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize