Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
