therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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