Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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