And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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