i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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