i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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