So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
