OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize