its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
im having a threesome with these popsicles
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
