Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
