ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize