a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
