You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
