I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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